Simply put, the Heckburger is so damn good, its mere smell has been known to lure vegans into carnivory. The key ingredient is a half-pound of genuine beef -- not some pre-cut wuss patty made of soy -- that's big enough to split an alligator's jaw. At once imposing and irresistible, it's grilled to perfection -- i.e., your specifications, something the typical burger joint treats as optional. Then it's tucked into the savory confines of a hand-knotted roll that could soak up a quart of Pennzoil and still not crumble. Riding shotgun are hand-cut French fries that actually taste like potatoes. The Big Mac hordes might bellyache at paying seven bucks for this happy meal, but trust us: Bite into a Heckburger, and you'd be willing to shell out twice as much.