Sally Florkiewicz hopes to share her gift for ineptitude with the rest of the community
Cuyahoga County Elections Board member Sally Florkiewicz has become the third member of the board to remove herself, following a swift kick in the ass by Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner. Last week Brunner ordered the four-member board to resign their positions, or she'd fire them. It's apparently a technique she borrowed from reality, where, unlike in the twisted world of Cuyahoga County, really sucking at your job doesn't get you a promotion.
The two Democrats on the board, Ed Coaxum and Loree Soggs, stepped out of the way last week, leaving the Republicans, Florkiewicz and Chairman Bob Bennett, standing alone in front of the firing squad. In a written statement to the press, Florkiewicz says she will resign her post in order to "serve the community in other ways."
She didn't elaborate on what those ways would be, but it's possible she may donate her brain to science so they can study the effects of doing nothing continuously for years on end. — Jared Klaus