Robert Oneal, Self-Appointed "Rambo", Flubs Vigilante Mission

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Oneal, adding to the Lorain myth.
  • Oneal, adding to the Lorain myth.

Lorain, it’s time we had a talk. What the hell is going on? You’ve been acting so strange lately, everyone’s talking about it. They blame it on the water, blame it on the economy, say the 440 is just plain crazy. But seriously, a screw's loose, friend. It's time to get some help . . .

This summer reading the Lorain police blotter has been like watching an endless Cops marathon. We’ve had women flash artists afoot on the streets, batshit-wild 15-year-olds, booze cruisin’ mommas, and violent spectacles aplenty. You want more? Well, how about drunk vigilante justice gone wrong?

According to The Morning Journal, 62-year-old Robert Oneal was sitting at home having a couple cold ones when he noticed someone sneaking around his house. He gave chase, hopping in his car and speeding after a vehicle he believed belonged to the snooper. He was wrong.


Oneal chased the car east on Meister Road, through laps of the parking lot at 7-Eleven, 3054 Leavitt Road, and south on Leavitt Road. When he caught up to the car on Leavitt Road, Oneal said he “played Rambo and rammed the car off the road,” causing it to drive through several lawns and hit a telephone pole, according to the report.

Turns out, the driver of the car was an innocent 42-year-old Elyria guy. His three kids were in the vehicle when the self-stylized action hero went on the offensive. Oneal tried to plead sober, but the cops quickly on the scene tossed him in the back of the cruiser. Rambo then went and pulled a Lorain — Scene shorthand for flipping your shit in the presence of police — and started screaming and bashing the police car window. He was hauled downtown and charged with driving under the influence, reckless operation, driving without a seatbelt, and incorrectly leading a vigilante car chase without results.

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