Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you wish you were as tough as Dick Goddard.
Hey, you know what's a great way to bring unwanted attention to yourself if you're intoxicated? Drive down a 200-foot hill and into the Rocky River in the Metroparks. That'll do it. (NewsNet5)
— In an effort to save millions of dollars, Ohio prisoners will now have to pay $1 a month for electricity. Prisons will also cut back on beverage options, offering water only at more meals. Prison rape still free. (AP)
— A Hell's Angel biker was convicted by a Medina County jury in the beating of another biker. In other news, there are Hell's Angels in Medina County. (Cleveland.com)
— Fox 8 is pimping a very special announcement from Dick Goddard tonight. We're guessing he'll announce he's leaving Fox 8 because he knocked up Lindsay Lohan. (Fox 8)