by Kyle Swenson
The moneybackers behind the new Cleveland Horseshoe Casino no doubt want you to think their target customer market is all those twenty and thirtysomething young professionals with stylish duds, the right credentials, and cash to piss, because we all know that demographic really actually totally does exist outside of promotional brochures and teeth whiting commercials. But real talk, who's going to be filling up the Cleveland casino?
At least, that apparently is the customer base in the cross-hairs at the Tilted Kilt, the new restaurant filling in the old Fat Fish Blue location, hoping to capitalize on the run off business from the Higbee site. Seeing how Cleveland already has a short-skirt staffed bar near the casino, some market researcher must have figured the Horseshoe's clientele will be high enough in guys who haven't had a meaningful experience with a woman since the Hooters closed in Parma to justify the investment.
Oh, sorry, did we say restaurant? We actually mean “breastaurant,” according to this thinkpiece from MacLeans on the abrupt rise of over-sexed dining spots looking to pull in male customers thanks to female help well-versed in “touchology.” This is what we're in for:
The “breastaurant” concept resonates amid economic and gender-role uncertainty. They’re proletariat men’s clubs, soothing public man caves where guys go to bond, drink cold beer and watch the game without being told to put the toilet seat down. Sales are 50 per cent alcohol; menus are defiantly masculine: pulled pork, burgers and wings.
You don’t go for the food.” Tilted Kilt’s Hanby agrees: “A lot of people are selling beer and food. So to win we’ve got to be spectacular and different.” He boasts of Tilted Kilt’s “upbeat atmosphere” and “entertainment in the form of interaction.” Guests don’t just ogle the servers, they’re given permission to engage, he says. “They can open their mouths, they can have a dialogue.”
Tilted Kilt servers, or “cast members,” as they’re known, are “sassy,” “sexy fun,” and “sexy smart,” Hanby says. Training focuses on how to make a connection with the guests and provide entertainment value. “Most of the girls have a shtick, and we work with them to develop it.” Tilted Kilt’s CEO Ron Lynch has spoken of servers employing “touchology”—touching the table often, and making guests feel at home. “Sometimes waitresses are providing the best part of a guest’s day,” he says.
We're pretty sure the term “breastaurant” in the cultural lexicon was one of St. John's signposts to the apocalypse.