Power Rankings

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A weekly roundup of the top newsmakers around town.

1. Joy Roller: Named the new President of Global Cleveland after leading the transformation of the Gordon Square Arts District. Hopes to help immigrants open all kinds of hipster businesses all over the city.

2. Mentor Patrolman Phil Croucher: The Mentor cop captured on video dunking his head in a bucket of urine for $450 at a Browns tailgate is suspended two days. Forever being known as the bucket of urine guy seems like punishment enough to us.

3. Cleveland Cop Caught Sexting: 19 Action News publishes sexts sent from a Cleveland detective to a young lady. Sadly, he never once made a pun about the nightstick in his pocket.

4. Cleveland Cops Caught Sleeping:At Zack Reed's urging, Fox 8 captures Cleveland cops sitting in a parking lot for hours, urinating in public, and possibly sleeping in the car. All things, of course, that Zack Reed is an expert on.

5. Cops Not Caught Doing Anything At All: Hey, all you cops not caught doing anything bad: Good job!

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