by Doug Brown
A Youtube user just unearthed a video of the youngest, scrawniest, and most fresh-faced officer ever to wear a Cleveland police uniform. He's got to be high on the list for showing the most restraint in an altercation with a mouthy civilian, too.
That's because he's an actor on NBC's long-running daytime soap opera Days of our Lives. The person who uploaded the clip labeled it "Incompetent Cleveland Police" and it shows an absent-minded officer getting berated for failing to recognize a lock was picked with a hair clip (8 seconds in), and later (2:08 in) getting yelled at by an actor in a a presumably fake British accent: "What are you looking at? So this is the finest Cleveland has to offer, is it?"
I wanted to get to the bottom of this very important story and find context to this extremely controversial video. Apparently the soap opera takes place in some ambiguous midwestern town called Salem, and Wikipedia has a depressingly detailed post about the setting. This episode could very well have taken place in Cleveland, Ohio, and not some other Cleveland (Tennessee, Texas, etc.).
I googled some lines from the video and it turns out there are people who transcribe each episode (there are 12,214 episodes; who knew?). This clip uploaded today came from the Dec. 9, 2009 broadcast, I found out.
So I googled "Days of our Lives" and "12/9/2009" and the full episodes are on Youtube. If you have nothing going on in the next 45 minutes and love the combination of terrible script writing, even worse acting and the constant drone of computerized music intended to let viewers know when important scenes occur, then give it a watch.
You're welcome, internet.