Thursday | 05
Unsuitable Language Alert
Cleveland funny man John Wellington wasn't kidding when he picked a title for tonight's comedy showcase at Kennedy's: The humor really will be unsuitable for some audiences. "Let's just say it's not going to be Two and a Half Men," says the standup guy. "It's not something you'll see on TV." Still, as co-founder of the Cleveland Comedy Festival, Wellington feels pretty confident that most local laff-lovers will dig the in-yer-face riffs from comedians Carey Callahan, Dave Arena, and Michael Ivy. "Cleveland has kind of taken on a comedic style of its own over the past 10 years," says Wellington, who will host tonight's fun. "This city has a perspective that's a little more personal — a little darker in some respects — that comes out in our comedy. It's a little harder, a little edgier, but Clevelanders respond to it." But will they laugh at it? Oh yeah. "It's not going to be funny," Wellington deadpans. "It's gonna be very funny." Tonight's show begins at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 in advance or $12 day of show. You'll find Kennedy's beneath the lobby of the Ohio Theatre on Playhouse Square. Needless to say, leave the rugrats at home. — Elaine T. Cicora
1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, clevelandcomedyfestival.com/shows.
Baseball & Bikes
Here's a double-header just right for Tribe fans and bike trekkers alike: today's Opening Day Ride for the Tribe, sponsored by Joy Machines Bicycle Shop and Bob's Bike Tours. Riders and their helmets are asked to arrive at the West Side Market at 10 a.m. The 8-mile tour begins at 11 a.m. and passes by sites near and dear to baseball fans — the former League Park at East 66th and Lexington, and the former Municipal Stadium — before winding up at Progressive Field. Once there, riders will receive a lower-reserve ticket, a commemorative T-shirt, and entry into a raffle for gifts and prizes. Cost of all the above is $50, with proceeds supporting the Cleveland Indians Charities. (Need a pre-ride tune up? Head over to Joy Machines at 1836 West 25th St., where participants can get a $10 discount.) "It's a great way to combine your love of Cleveland, your love of the Indians, and your love of biking," says tour company owner Bob Polk, adding that even non-riders are welcome to take part. Tickets are available at Joy Machines (216-308-5022) or by calling Polk at the number below. Check out Bob's Bike Tours on Facebook for more info. — Cicora
1979 West 25th St., 440-681-8262.
Monster Drawing Rally at Spaces
What's black and white and awesome all over? Space's Monster Drawing Rally, which makes a spectacle of the usually private act of artistic creation. Through four hour-long shifts, 30 artists at a time will make everything they can with pencil, charcoal, and blank paper. When each piece is completed, it will be mounted on the wall and displayed for sale. It's the best art deal of the year: All the evening's creations will go for $70 (tax included), and all proceeds will benefit Space's exhibition and residency programs. The roster includes luminaries like Dexter Davis, Matt Dibble, Christi Birchfield, Liz Maugans, and Dana Oldfather — along with nearly a hundred more creatives with styles ranging from the highest of high brows to funny-book pop and abstract avant-garde. If your kid wants to get into the arts, you can give him or her a leg-up by making sure their first exhibit is at Spaces. Just plunk him or her down at the Lil' Monster Drawing Rally, a kids' workstation where the offspring can create and display their own sketches and coloring. Watch the pencils dance from 6 to 10 p.m. tonight. If you can't make it then, works not sold tonight will be on display through April 8. Light refreshments and drinks will be available, and Touch Supper Club's food truck will be parked outside. Admission is $5 for adults and free for anyone 17 or younger. — Joseph Clark
2220 Superior Viaduct, 216-621-2314, spacesgallery.org.