by Doug Brown
(update: 11:00am) Cleveland Scene obtained Bansley's mugshot, police report, and an audio recording of Bansley's "you sound kind of pretty" 911 call.The audio is as depressing as it is hilarious. Take a listen, it's a doozy:
(original story 10:02am)
Via the Chronicle-Telegram comes a story about a man with a taste for terrible beer and a penchant for shortsightedness.
John Bansley bought a six-pack of Milwaukee's Best at an Avon Lake convenience store Monday morning and cracked one open outside the shop. He hadn't finished the first Beast by the time cops showed up, finding the 46-year-old man holding a "beer or bus ticket" sign. Already drunk from earlier the morning, Bansley told police "he was walking to Chicago after a fight with his ex-wife," per the paper. Avon Lake police cited him and took him to his ex-wife's house, and gave her his remaining beer.
Bansley apparently called 911 to complain his ex wouldn't give him his beer: a perfect time for him to find his next romantic partner.
"You sound all kind of pretty," he told the dispatcher after asking for her personal phone number. All this happened before noon.