Jesus. It's not like it's fun writing about Dawg Pound Mike more than once every couple of weeks, but this guy really makes it hard to ignore him.
He's launched a "Sexiest Browns Fans Contest" and wants you — yes, even you Mr. 250-pounder and you Mrs. 50-year-old — to send him pictures of yourself dressed up all sexylike.
He's even posted some suggestion photos to get your mind going in the right direction and to give you a better idea of what he's looking for. He's helpful and horny, how nice.
Here's two of the actual pics he put up. Let's see what he wants.
Oh, shit. Looks like you're out Mr. 250-pounder. You too, Mrs. 50-year-old. Mike wants only the flesh from the chiseledest of chiseled bodies landing in his inbox.
So, just to be clear — and I'm only trying to be accommodating to Mike's quest based on what he laid out on his personal page — if you're a super model who is a Browns fan, or if you're a bald dude with a stacked, shaved chest and a spare set of football pants laying around your house (the lace-ups are a must), Dawg Pound Mike would like to hear from you.
Follow me on Twitter: @vincethepolack.