By now, most stadiums have some sort of service that allows you to text an issue to a number for in-stadium assistance. Intended uses? Reporting crimes, fights, overly drunk fans, etc. In Philly it's probably specifically good for contacting authorities when degenerates intentionally vomit on children.
Unintended uses? Making jokes.
Back in October there was an account on WFNY of a fan who used Browns Stadium's texting service to make a joke and the stick-up-the-ass response he got from the Browns. Personally, I thought it was pretty funny.
I decided to send a report to the Browns today, regarding misconduct;
“There’s a guy who keeps going on the field who shouldn’t be there. Please remove him. He can be identified by the large number 3 on his jersey.”
The Browns were not amused. Three minutes later, I got the following;
“The GuestAssist service is provided to ensure a safe environment for all guests. Continued misuse of the service may result in your mobile phone being blocked.”
Flash forward to last Thursday in Philadelphia. I was at Citizen's Bank Park to catch the Tribe/Phillies afternoon tilt while on vacation. (Jay from Let's Go Tribe, a proud Clevo transplant who now calls Philly home, was there, too. Thanks again to him for hanging out that afternoon.)
Anyway, if you don't remember that game, not that there is any reason to, here's the short version: It was a miserable start by Fausto and a miserable afternoon in general as the Tribe sucked in their usual, varied ways en route to a 12-3 loss in the middle of 95-degree heat. Yeah, easy to get distracted during a game like that.
As Fausto floundered away early on, a friend of mine noticed the text help number at the park and decided to send a query.
"the indians don't have a long reliever today. location: visitor's bullpen."
And the response... 100% nicer than the Browns'. Probably because the Phillies guy/gal had pity on us.
"Thank you for pointing that out. Enjoy the game."
Follow me on Twitter: @vincethepolack.
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