I’ve got a pair of free tickets to give away to Opera Cleveland’s production of Mozart’s Don Giovanni. But before I do that, I can’t help but note that when it comes to sexual apetite, the world of rap has nothing on Don Giovanni.

It’s just a matter of musical style that separates Mozart’s most licentious baritone from the persona of so many over-the-top rappers as they brag about their sexual exploits. Thanks to the supertitles played on a screen above the stage, it’s easy to see that but for Mozart’s lyrical music, and the Italian language, Don Giovanni is one prodigious Mack Daddy.

As his servant Leporello notes, “He has country girls and city girls, rich girls and poor girls... / Servants and princesses, women of every class, every age, and every shape. / In Italy: 640. In Germany: 231. In France: 100. In Turkey: 91. In Spain: 1003. / Women of every class, age, and shape! / With the blonde he tends to praise... her gentleness. / The brunette: her fidelity! / The fair one? Her sweetness. / He likes fat ones in winter, skinny ones in summer. / The big ones—majestic! / The little ones... are always charming. / Old ladies he chases because he likes adding them to the list. / But his favorite, by far, is the young beginner. / He doesn’t care if she’s rich or poor, ugly or beautiful... / So long as she wears a skirt..../ You know what he does.

It’s not much later that Don Giovanni speaks of his own apetite: “I can’t stop thinking about all those girls. / I want to entertain them until night falls. / We'll have a wild party! Pour out a river of wine. / If you see any girls in the street, invite them in. / Chaos must reign on the dance floor! / Every kind of dance, all at the same time. / And to a different tune I’ll be making love to all the girls! / I want a dozen new names on my list by tomorrow morning.”

Opera Cleveland's Don Giovanni closes with the performance at 8 p.m. Saturday night. I've got two free tickets for that performance for the first person who e-mails with the number of women Don Giovanni banged in Spain.

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