TSO in Spring: For Christmas' Sakes

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Trans-Siberian Orchestra — the theatrical lite-heavy-metal-goes-Christmas sensation — has announced a spring tour. In addition to material from the group's recent Night Castle, the massive show will feature a new program called Beethoven’s Last Night. (You ain’t never heard the Fifth like this, baby!)

TSO play Akron’s E.J. Thomas Hall on March 26 at 8 p.m., then stage two shows the following day at Cleveland’s Playhouse Square Palace Theatre, at 3 and 8 p.m. Go here for pre-sale tickets. If any are left, they’ll be available via Ticketmaster. These concerts will be the second and third stops on the tour, which is playing smaller venues the group routinely sells out at Christmas time.

A lot of people dig TSO, so rather than bag on it at length, we’ll point out the most disturbing potential fallout from this development.

For years, holiday season aficionados and prognosticators have worried about the yuletide season starting earlier and earlier every year. In 2009, Christmas retail season began immediately following Halloween. And previous worst-case scenarios projected a winter holiday whose celebration kicked off after Independence Day. But if this spring tour catches on, even if they’re not relying on holiday material, it’s only a matter of time until Christmas never ends.

And an area like Northeast Ohio, which has 40-degree days at least nine months a year, is particularly vulnerable. Once again, the culture wars will be fought in your very backyard. And for that reason — if no other — we beg you to just say no to orchestral guitar rock. —D.X. Ferris

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