These short reviews of this week's Top 10 Billboard albums are based on the first thing that popped into my head as I listened to 30-second snippets from the albums' most popular song on iTunes.
1. Sade — Soldier of Love
This marching army seems surprisingly peaceful. Kinda sexy too.
2. Lady Antebellum — Need You Now
As long as there are people who like music like this, there will be groups like Lady Antebellum.
3. Jaheim — Another Round
As long as there are people who like music like this, there will be singers like Jaheim.
4. Lil Wayne — Rebirth
I didn't like this shit when white people were making it. Auto-Tune doesn't make it any better.
5. Josh Turner — Haywire
That's a deep holler you're sporting there, hoss.
6. tobyMac — Tonight
God save us.
7. Lady Gaga — The Fame
Oh, Lady Gaga, you make me so gay!
8. The Black Eyed Peas — The E.N.D.
Those are some fly robots. Bet their lasers kick ass.
9. Susan Boyle — I Dreamed a Dream
Please make it stop. Please.
10. Taylor Swift — Fearless
That's a monster hook you're sporting there, little girl. —Michael Gallucci (follow me on Twitter @mgallucci)