I give up, Lady Gaga. You win.
After a year of doing my best to avoid you, your songs, your weird-ass costumes and the way you simultaneously arouse and appall me, I give up.
I actually gave up a few months ago, right around the time you released "Bad Romance." The first time I heard it, I was sucked in by that whole "rah-rah-ah-ah-ah/roma-roma-ma/gaga-ooh-la-la" thing. Then that monster hook in the middle of it all dragged me down even further.
By the end of the holidays, I was drooling like one of those lap boys who drag out onstage in chains (I'm just guessing about this. It seems like something you would do.)
Of course, I admired "Poker Face" from a distance. How could I not? It was all over the radio last summer, and unless you're Daughtry or some other total suck-ass, I'm gonna find something to like after 38,423 listens. Plus, I totally dug how you got into the whole "poke her face" joke. I thought the same thing when I first heard the song.
But "Bad Romance" was where I first weakened. It was even my No. 3 single of 2009. I turned the radio up every time I heard it during the holidays (finding your song and Miley's "Party in the U.S.A." on the radio made my car trips back and forth across the state during the last three weeks of December tolerable).
I didn't bring a CD with me for my work commute yesterday (I usually use the hour round-trip car ride to listen to the stack of things I have piling up at home). So on my way home from work I played radio roulette. I wasn't really in the mood to hear anything; I just didn't want to hear the rush of traffic around me (or classic rock, which Cleveland loves, or that shitty Train song).
Then the radio scan stopped on a kinda weak station. But it was strong enough for me to make out what was going beneath the static: "Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face." And yeah, it sounded good. Damn good. So good that I listened to it again when I got home — this time I got to hear the whole thing and without the song fading in and out (damn right I own The Fame, and you can bet that I've listened to in its entirety several times since my conversion).
I tweeted about you, saying sometimes a guy's just in the mood to hear "Poker Face." Followers agreed. Straight male followers.
I'm not sure if they've given up and completely given in to you yet, Gaga. But I have.
You win. —Michael Gallucci (follow me on Twitter @mgallucci)