Best Ass-Kicking in a Non-Contact Sport

U.S. Touch and Flag Football League

You know you're in trouble when your Sunday-morning flag-football opponents have "Lay down the pound" screened on their matching jerseys. But such menacing words - and deeds - are to be expected in the USTFL. Ohio's biggest and baddest flag-and-touch football league is open to all ages, genders, and skill levels. There is, however, a common thread: a competitive, physical brand of football usually saved for leagues that require pads. There's no tackling, but there's plenty of blocking, smacking, pushing, and shoving. A recent game wasn't two minutes in before a receiver caught a touchdown, only to have a Chevy-sized opponent pound him to the ground. "Way to go get that shit," a teammate hollered to the receiver. "Now, that's big-time football." It is, indeed, so bring your best game - and your Advil.