Best Heavy Metal Pickup Line

Boulder, in "Krank It Up"

When Boulder frontman Jaime Walters bellows, "Everybody are you ready to bleed?/Everybody are you ready to seed, tonight?" on the opening cut of his band's latest, Reaped in Half, he offers a summation of pretty much everything that heavy metal is about: sex, violence, and stupidity. What makes Boulder so great is that these dudes get the joke -- that heavy metal is as much about punch lines, inadvertent or not, as power chords -- and they still deliver uncompromised, novelty-free metal in a way few bands do anymore. Yeah, Boulder will make you laugh, but this band is no joke -- though it sure does make "serious" metal acts such as P.O.D. seem silly in comparison.