A guy who can keep a straight face while busting a kid cranking it in the library is a rare commodity. So it's no surprise that local investigator Carl Monday has stations wooing him like he's a drunken sorority sister. Last February, Monday decided that Channel 19 was a worthy suitor and made the switch. But a contract clause with his former station, Channel 3, stopped him from using his face or name on the air for six months. Fortunately, the clause said nothing about using the back of his head and his initials. So Monday reported his typical stories -- busting rim thieves and other nefarious characters. But he labeled them "C.M. Investigations" and never showed his face when they aired. He even kept up the act with fans, denying any involvement with the mysterious new investigator. "My standard line was that it was Charles Manson," he says. Yes, it's creepy. But that's the price of keeping Carl on the job.