The old-school beer bong's funnels and tubing are all substance, no style. So save the hardware for the lawn mower, and try guzzling that Pabst with a lawn ornament instead. It's called the Flabongo: a pink plastic flamingo, hollowed out for the purposes of drinking large quantities of beer in small amounts of time. Fill the Flabongo (it holds up to three beers), raise it high, relax that throat, and be drunk. The Flabongo makes regular appearances at Put-in-Bay Lakewood and other area bars. But if you're classy, you'll buy your own.