Happy Dyngus Day, everyone.
What's Dyngus Day? Glad you asked. It's a Polish holiday that a trio of west-side establishments is bringing to Cleveland, starting today.
Without doing any research, here's what we imagine festivities on Dyngus Day involve: After 364 straight days of making pierogies, Polish grandmothers take a day off. They gather in a town square and watch while all the Polish men dance with plastic pink flamingos. When the dancing is done, a fire is built, and everyone claps while ceremonially burning all vowels except 'I' and 'Y.'
Let's double check our guess against the facts.
"It's a Polish holiday, it's the Monday after Easter," said Norm Plonski, owner of the Parkview Nite-Club, who said he is of 100% Polish descent.
"It's sort of the anti-Fat Tuesday where you've given up something for Lent and now you're going to party," Plonski said. "In the 1800's the boys would throw water at the girls — and the girls would throw eggs at the boys."
On the first Cleveland Dyngus Day, Plonski and the other bar owners are hoping to attract revelers of all nationalities with Polish food, drink and music.
Damn, we were so close.
There will also be polka and pierogi, and the organizers are looking for some help, using a sentence as Polish as white knee-high socks: "Anyone with an accordion is being asked to gather at the north end of West 58th Street beginning at 5 p.m on Monday."