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Critical Fatwa

Enough with the racist teens who can't sing.


We are arbiters of music, not ideals. So all hail Crass, who made great music in spite of its goofball politics. From the silly socialism of Rage Against the Machine to the street capitalism of 50 Cent, the music is the message. So we do not deliver a fatwa against Prussian Blue, the newest teen sensation on the White Power circuit, because of its odious beliefs. No, we fatwa these two adorable 13-year-old Aryans because they are horrid, horrid singers.

We would not bother with the "white-power Olson twins," who perform folk versions of white-power classics, if the mainstream media did not insist on giving them attention they don't deserve. If they sang with the voices of angels, we'd have something to talk about. But even though their toneless warbling should keep them playing the third stage at the county fair, America is so crazed on the subject of race that it will make anti-stars of these Hitler youths.

Fatwa! Fatwa on these girls, who have reached the age of reason -- as well as their mother, their fans, and a media so afraid to discuss race, it cannot see that this Führer wears no clothes. They all deserve each other. May they all know it. It is written.

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