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Events this week? We've got a few

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22

HINDI COMEDY THEATER

Paresh Rawal at Cleveland State

Anyone with their finger to the pulse of the Gujarati comedy circuit knows that Paresh Rawal is hot shit indeed — perhaps the biggest celebrity out of northwestern India since Mohandas Gandhi. The guy stars in movies as often as most people do laundry. And for one night only — tonight! — Rawal lends his wry sensibilities to Krishan vs. Kanhaiya, a hysterical play about an atheist shopkeeper who incurs huge losses and the wrath of the almighty after an earthquake. The show is at 7 p.m. at Cleveland State's Waetjen Auditorium (2001 Euclid Ave.). Tickets are $25-$100, available by calling 440-327-6428. — Sam Allard

LOCAL COMEDY IN LAKEWOOd

Laugh Along With the Buzzard

Comedian/rock star Dave Arena says that if you listen to his stand-up, he'll put visions in your head that may take therapy to extract. Bill Squire appears on the YouTube webseries sensation "Man in the Box." Mark Coella arrives in the deliciously deadpan, ferociously fragile tradition of Woody Allen, and was named the Best Cleveland Stand-Up by Cleveland magazine. They're just three of the performers taking their jokes to Lakewood's Winchester Music Hall (12112 Madison Ave.) tonight, along with WMMS' Chad Zumock and a "super-secret special guest." Tickets are $5, and the show starts at 9 p.m. — Allard

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23

COMEDY

Bobby Collins Plays Hilarities

Election season always finds Bobby Collins in a festive mood. "It's fun joking about these guys," the veteran comic says. "I think sometimes people forget who they are — they're politicians. Let's break that down: Poli-tic, with the emphasis on the tic. They're like a tick, a bloodsucker. They only want to see you and shake your hand when they're running for something. That makes me sick to my stomach." During the mid-'90s, Collins took over for Rosie O'Donnell as host of VH1's Stand-up Spotlight, where his catch phrase "I want to go home" soon took on new meaning: "When my wife had our third daughter, she almost died at childbirth," says Collins, who left the show to be with her. "My family needed me, so my profile was lower. I had to do what I had to do. My career may have gone in a different direction. I lost some time, but it's fine." He's back on the horse these days, with a weekend stop starting tonight at Hilarities (at Pickwick & Frolic, 2035 East Fourth Street downtown). Tickets are $20 tonight, $23 Friday, and $25 Saturday. Showtime is 8 p.m. Thursday, 7:30 and 10:15 p.m. Friday and Saturday. For more information, call 216-241-7425. — Ed Condran

THEATER

Karamu Makes Art Out of Crisis

Mmmmmhmmm, experimental theater with a sociopolitical, residential tilt. Tonight, Karamu House (at 2355 East 89th Street) presents the world premiere of Closure, a dramatization of 28 poems by local poet/playwright Mary Weems. You'll see objects left behind in foreclosed homes animated by music, dance, and multimedia presentations. It sounds bizarre, but promises to be a profound and original reflection on a national crisis, in a city that endured some of its most vicious side effects. Tickets are $20 on Thursday and Sunday, $25 on Friday and Saturday. Call 216-795-7070 for more info. — Allard

OPERA AT PLAYHOUSE SQUARE

Bizet's The Pearl Fishers

Opera Cleveland is fighting the economy like every other company across the country, but it's not skimping on innovation. For its production of Georges Bizet's The Pearl Fishers, dance scenes feature choreography and performance from Groundworks Dance Theatre. To evoke the undersea world of the pearl divers, they've shot underwater footage to be projected on the set. Bizet's tale of two men and their forbidden love of a virgin won its place on the schedule by audience demand. The aria in which the two men swear to renounce the girl and stay true to their friendship is one of the most famous in all of opera. The Pearl Fishers will be performed at 7:30 p.m. tonight, 8 p.m. Saturday, and 2 p.m. Sunday at the State Theatre at Playhouse Square (1519 Euclid Ave.). Tickets range from $25 to $110; call 216-241-6000 or visit operacleveland.org. — Gill

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24

UNDER THE BRIDGE DOWNTOWN

Ingenuity Fest Returns!

In recent years, the annual Ingenuity Fest of the arts has kicked off with a massive drum jam. This year they're kicking it up a notch or two with the "Wild Music Marching Band." Bands from throughout the region — and anybody else with an instrument — are invited to join in. They'll start from Playhouse Square at about 4:30 Friday, parade to Public Square, then head over to the subway level of the Detroit Superior Bridge, where this year's festivities are slated to unfold over three days. Bands, dance companies, a digital graffiti wall, and artists of all stripes will populate the half-mile span where the city's streetcars used to run. One of the scheduled highlights: Thousands of gallons of water will be dumped off the Detroit Superior Bridge all weekend, like a waterfall into the Cuyahoga — a profligate display of Great Lakes water wealth, pointing to the fact that lots of folks around the world don't have it so good. Ingenuity runs from 4:30 Friday to 1 a.m. Saturday, noon Saturday to 1 a.m. Sunday, and Noon to 5 p.m. Sunday. It's all free this year, so you've got no excuse not to go hang out in the underbelly of forgotten Cleveland. The Detroit Superior Bridge is accessible on the west bank of the Cuyahoga off West 25th St. at the Superior Viaduct, and on the east bank off West Ninth St. For information go to ingenuitycleveland.org or call 216-589-9444. — Michael Gill

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25

GARDENING TALK AT THE GARDEN

The First RIPE! Festival

For those of us into gardening, September is the time when stacks of tomatoes and zucchini start cluttering the kitchen counter and the doorsteps of everyone we know. The Cleveland Botanical Garden (11030 East Blvd., 216-721-1600) celebrates our vegetative wealth with its RIPE! Food and Garden Festival, a new event that rides the cresting wave of interest in local food and urban farming. Local growers and chefs will be on hand for demonstrations on how to grow your own food and what to do with it once you've got it. And it's not just about fruits and vegetables — you'll learn about local cheeses, teas, honey, grass-fed beef, wine, and beer too. A marketplace will feature the wares of dozens of local food producers and restaurants, so you can taste the bounty and take some of it home. RIPE! runs from 10 a.m. to sunset today through Sunday. Tickets are $3 to $12. Go to cbgarden.org for more information. — Anastasia Pantsios

FAMILY FUN

Bears & Teddies at the Zoo

Last month we heard the horrific story of the bear that attacked and killed a man at a private exotic animal farm in Lorain County. It reminds us that bears are best observed at the zoo and not in your backyard. Today, the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo offers a certifiably safe introduction to the fascinating creatures with Teddy Bear Day. Activities run from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Steffee Center for Zoological Medicine, where kids can bring their own stuffed bears to be examined by a veterinarian, participate in bear-oriented games and crafts, learn bear facts and how the zoo's bears are cared for, meet costumed bear characters, and have a bear design painted on their face. At 11:45 a.m. and 2:45 p.m., the musical teddy bear parade will march up to the Northern Trek area to meet the zoo's bears — from the other side of the moat. It's free with zoo admission ($10 for adults, $7 ages 2-11). But there's a wonderful catch: Every kid who brings a stuffed animal gets in free. The zoo is at 3900 Wildlife Way; call 216-661-6500 or go to clemetzoo.com. — Pantsios

GHOST HUNTING

Paranormal Conference at Case

Appearing on the brief list of phenomena that the Munroe Falls Paranormal Society can you help you with are: Ghosts & Hauntings, Poltergeists, Occult-Like Phenomena, Strange Creatures, Earth Mysteries, and Witchcraft & Spells. If this sounds like waterslide fun to you, skedaddle on over to Case Western Reserve today and tomorrow for the second annual Northeast Ohio Paranormal Conference. That's where panelists, vendors, and paranormal enthusiasts will convene to talk about really scary stuff. Isn't it sort of a revelation that some of these organizations even exist? Like, just for example, a noted speaker from Ghost Hunters International will give a hotly anticipated presentation (presumably on ghost hunting). Wowza. Case Western Reserve is at 1175 East Boulevard, at the heart of Cleveland's University Circle. Contact ehaney@munroe-falls-paranormal-society.com for ticket information and event details. — Allard

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26

FUN WITH HISTORY

Fall Fest at Brecksville Reservation

For that contingent of curious people who are dying to learn about colonial life firsthand but aren't in possession of a functional Flux Capacitor, a festival has been designed with you in mind. It's the Cleveland Metroparks Fall Fest, an 18th-century extravaganza from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. today at the Brecksville Reservation. Bring the fam and enjoy some arts and crafts — an early settler equivalent of PlayStation. Featured activities include candle dipping, quill pen writing, quilting, stenciling, and wool dying (with all-natural dyes, of course.) Hell, for $4, you can even ride a pony. Everything else is free. Events will take place in the Meadows Picnic Area. Learn more at 440-526-1012 or visit clevelandmetroparks.com. — Allard

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27

BREWS AND BLUES

Kristine Jackson at Great Lakes

The website of Elyria native Kristine Jackson repeatedly insists, "Not your average blues band," which gives us pause: Less than average? Above average? I mean, KISS is not your average blues band either. Nor are the Dixie Chicks. In point of fact, they're not blues bands at all. Rest assured, though, Kristine Jackson is bluesy, she is brassy, she is beautiful, and she is bringing her eclectic sound to Ohio City's favorite brewpub tonight. She is known to play guitar, bass, trumpet, and the stomp box, so prepare to unwind to a totally captivating, if not average, blues soundtrack. Great Lakes will have some specialties on tap, including the ferociously good Stein-Bock — not your average cola, but a pale, malty bock with a sneaky 7.5 percent ABV, so draw straws for a designated driver and enjoy. — Allard

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28

CLASSICAL MUSIC

Free Beethoven All Over Town!

The violin that Korean-born violinist Chee-Yun will play while she's in town this week is about 100 years older than the piece of music she'll be playing. Her Stradivarius — actually on loan from the Samsung Corporation — was made in 1708. The tunes she will make with it — Beethoven's Violin Concerto in D — dates only to 1808. Chee-Yun also plans to play the first-movement cadenza by the late Russian violinist David Milstein. "I saw one of his last concerts at the New York Philharmonic in the '80s," she says. "When I found music — to only the first movement though — I jumped at the opportunity." She'll play a more familiar third-movement cadenza by Fritz Kreisler. It's an all-Beethoven program, filled out by the Coriolan Overture and his Symphony No. 3, the "Eroica." James Gaffigan conducts. Chances are, there's a performance near your neighborhood: It happens at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, September 28, at Fairmount Presbyterian Church (2757 Fairmount Blvd. in Cleveland Heights; 216-321-5800); 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, September 29, at Stambaugh Auditorium (1000 Fifth Ave. in Youngstown; 330-747-5175); 7:30 p.m. Thursday, September 30, at St. Noel Church (35200 Chardon Rd. in Willoughby Hills; 440-946-0887), 7:30 p.m. Friday, October 1, at St. Colman Church (2027 West 65th St. in Cleveland; 216-651-0550), 7:30 p.m. Saturday, October 2, at Our Lady of Lourdes Church (3395 East 53rd and Broadway in Cleveland, 216-641-2829), and 4 p.m. Sunday, October 3, at St. Mary's Church (320 Middle Ave. in Elyria; 440-323-5539). They're all free. — Gill

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