Comedian Todd Justice
doesnt mind touring all the time. After all, its part of the business. But, he admits, he gets lonely every now and then. On Valentines Day, he broke down and called an escort service for a little company. But I dialed the wrong number and got Kinkos, he says. She said, Can I help you? I said, Yes, maam, I need to place an order. How many pieces would you like? I dunno -- two? Do you want us to staple them together? Hell, Im from Texas. You can tie em up with a rope, for all I care.
And even though he hails from the Lone Star state, Justice -- a former appliance salesman and musician -- says hes no cowboy. Ive never gone up in a helicopter to look at my spread, he says. I cant even ride a horse. But Ive seen one. The chrome-domed comic says hed rather spend his time testing hair-growth products. So far, hes had no luck. They say Rogaine takes 40 days to see results, he sighs. And they give you a 30-day guarantee.
Thu., June 7, 8:30 p.m.; June 8-9, 8 & 10:30 p.m.