News » News Lead

Osama's Got Mail

Washington sends a helpful brochure to the World's Most Wanted Terrorist.

The Department of Homeland Security actually mailed this.
  • The Department of Homeland Security actually mailed this.
Ever wonder if anybody in Washington is paying attention? Joel Foose, a flooring deliveryman from Brunswick, did. So in May, when he requested a copy of a threat-readiness brochure from the Department of Homeland Security, he gave the automated operator a fake name: Osama bin Laden.

"I fully expected to get a phone call or have the men in black kick in my door," he says.

But that didn't happen. When the brochure arrived, it indeed had Osama's name on it, albeit spelled wrong. (If Homeland Security can't even spell bin Laden's name right, how the hell are they gonna find him?)

Now Foose is wondering if he should sell the Osama-addressed brochure on eBay. "But I don't want people showing up on my doorstep, saying they see Jesus in the wood grains."

Why not? We already sold the rest of Homeland Security to the highest bidder.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.