Calendar » Get Out

Psychic Babble

Psychic Jennifer Triton sees more than a coffee buzz in your future.



Jennifer Triton doesn't perform magic. She can't bring your ancestors back from the grave. And if someone calls her "God" one more time, she's going to scream.

But that doesn't stop the 28-year-old Lakewood astrologer from holding court at monthly Psychic Nights at the Mudhouse coffee shop, where she also works behind the counter. For $5 "donations," Triton gazes into your future by analyzing stones; for 20 bucks, she'll read your astrological chart.

Triton learned to interpret tarot cards when she was 16. By the time she turned 20, she was fascinated by stone readings, in which a client throws 27 different gemstones -- like rose quartz and rhodonite -- onto a 12-piece pie chart. The stones fall randomly, or so it would appear. "It's you putting the energy into the rocks," she explains. "Your subconscious energy plots where the rocks fall." Then Triton gets busy, employing her intuition to forecast your future.

To perform an astrological reading, Triton must know your date, time, and place of birth at least 72 hours prior to the reading (so plan on stopping by the Mudhouse before Friday). She'll tell you your sun (or zodiacal) sign, as well as your moon and rising signs, and much more. "It's kind of like religion," she explains. "It's 8,000 different flavors."

Triton, of course, encounters the occasional nonbeliever. "What you put into [your reading] is what you're going to get out of it," she says. "Otherwise, you're going to have a shit reading."

Still, "it's always fun when it works out," she says. But predicting the future isn't magic; it's spelled out in the natal chart. "I want to feel like a customer has been guided down the right path."

Just watch out for those shit readings.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Cleveland Scene works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Cleveland and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Cleveland's true free press free.