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Ripping the Headlines


Comedian Tom Simmons spent the past four years holding a pity party for himself. After months of studying interviews with comic legends like Johnny Carson and Jerry Seinfeld, he says he finally figured out how to get his career on the fast track: less writing, more performing. “I feel like I’ve wasted 10 years not working on that stuff,” he says. Simmons now relies on current events to fuel his stand-up shows. Disgraced senator Larry Craig’s recent airport-bathroom shenanigans figure into his set: “He got busted for hand signals,” says Simmons. “There are hand signals? I wouldn’t want to be a third-base coach who stumbled onto that situation.” The President’s war on terrorism also shows up regularly. “He said we’re going to rid the world of evil,” laughs Simmons. “We can’t rid the world of evil. A lot of people tried that in the past -- Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi. And now we’ve got W on the case?”
Sept. 28-29, 8 & 10:15 p.m.; Sun., Sept. 30, 7 p.m., 2007

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