I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexual compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sex —both giving and receiving. I didn't get a blowjob the whole time we were together. Which brings me to why I am writing: One of my closest friends, "Sam," is a gay guy. Shortly after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was discussing my lack of oral sex with Sam and he said he'd be willing to "help me out." I agreed, and Sam gave me an earth-shattering blowjob. I was glad to get some and had no hang-ups about a guy sucking me. Since then, Sam has blown me three more times. My problem is I am starting to feel guilty and worry I am using Sam. He's a very good buddy, and I'm concerned this lopsided sexual arrangement might be bad for our friendship. Sam knows I am not into guys and I'm never going to reciprocate, and I feel like this is probably not really fair to him. But these are literally the only blowjobs I've received since I was a teenager. What should I do?
— Totally Have Reservations Over Advantage Taking
Only one person knows how Sam feels about this "lopsided sexual arrangement," THROAT, and it isn't me — it's Sam.
Zooming out for a second: People constantly ask me how the person they're fucking or fisting or flogging feels about all the fucking or fisting or flogging they're doing. Guys ask me why a woman ghosted them, and women ask me if their boyfriend is secretly gay. And while I'm perfectly happy to speculate, I'm not a mind reader. Which means I have no way of knowing for sure why that woman ghosted you or if your boyfriend is gay — or in your case, THROAT, how Sam feels about the four norecip blowjobs he's given you.
Only Sam knows.
And that's why I wrote you back, THROAT, and asked you for Sam's contact information.
"Yes, I have been sucking my straight friend's cock," Sam said to me. "And I am flattered he told you I was good at it. That's an ego booster!"
Sam, like THROAT, is 24 years old. He grew up on the East Coast and met THROAT early in his first year at college.
My first question for Sam: Is he one of those gay guys who get off on "servicing" straight guys?
"I've never done anything with a straight guy before this," said Sam. "So, no, I'm not someone who is 'into servicing straight guys.' I have only ever dated and hooked up with gay guys before!"
So why offer to blow THROAT?
"I didn't know until after he broke up with his girlfriend that he hadn't gotten a blowjob the whole time they were together — four years!" Sam said. "When I told him I'd be happy to help him out, I was joking. But there was this long pause, and then he got serious and said he'd be into it. I wondered for a minute if it would be weird for me to blow my friend, and there was definitely a bit of convincing each other that we were serious. When he started taking his clothes off, I thought, 'So this is going to happen.' It was not awkward after. We even started joking about it right away. I have sucked him off four more times since then."
For those of you keeping score at home: Either THROAT lost count of the number of times Sam has blown him — THROAT said Sam has blown him three more times after that first blowjob — or THROAT got a fifth blowjob in the short amount of time that elapsed between sending me his letter and putting me in touch with Sam.
So does this lopsided sexual arrangement bother Sam?
"I suppose it is a 'lopsided sexual arrangement,'" said Sam. "But I don't mind. I really like sucking dick and I'm really enjoying sucking his dick. He has a really nice dick! And from my perspective, we're both having fun. And, yes, I've jacked off thinking about it after each time I sucked him. I know — now — that he thinks it is a bit unfair to me. But I don't feel that way at all."
So there is something in it for Sam. You get the blowjobs, THROAT, and Sam gets the spank-bankable memories. And Sam assumes that, at some point, memories are all he'll have.