Music » Livewire

Something Corporate

With New Found Glory, Finch, and Further Seems Forever. Saturday, October 26, at the Agora Theatre.


Something Corporate
  • Something Corporate
Something Corporate writes piano-humping power ballads so gooey, giant wheels of cheese rain down on concertgoers during live performances. Without warning or provocation, a comically oversized block of Gouda can knock you unconscious as you stand transfixed by what is, in essence, the ultimate high school loser revenge fantasy.

Observe: nerdy chump -- forced into piano lessons by his parents and forced into garbage cans and swirling toilets by surly class bullies -- forms an ostensibly "punk" band to back up his little slices of Elton John ennui. He thumbs his nose at the bullies ("If You C Jordan"), ditches his folks for life on the road ("I Woke Up in a Car"), and casts about for his very own "Punk Rock Princess." That these guys actually played the Warped Tour is hilarious. The band's big-shot debut, Leaving Through the Window, basically rehashes Bryan Adams for the flaming-toilet-paper-tossing miscreant punk rock set. It's what discerning Anti-Flag fans throw on when they want to get sensitive, or laid. It contains not a lick of masculinity or punk ferocity. It's also great, designed for gleeful bus-ride sing-alongs similar to that "Tiny Dancer" scene in Almost Famous. Something Corporate just swapped chicken suits for baggy pants. Wouldn't you?

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.