A 20-page press release sent by the "Political Advisory Group" last week spoke of "uncovering a political and personal conspiracy agenda" and promised that "a detailed investigation . . . will lead to over 30 press releases." Unfortunately, the document possessed the literary quality of a hastily penned ransom note, and The Edge was unable to discern the exact nature of said intrigue. We did manage to create a CliffsNotes version: Triangle is unjustly oppressed; Councilwoman Fannie Lewis and her henchmen are to blame. Expect further developments on this story, as soon as we find a translator who speaks fluent conspiracy.
Fox 8 is on the prowl again with its recent blockbuster report, "Really Mean People Who Park in Handicapped Spaces." This time, the station that brought you "Jaywalking Judges" was confronting wayward motorists near the Federal Building with its customary Skippy-Does-Mike-Wallace flair. The segment may help Councilman Joe Cimperman's crusade to curb illegal parking in handicapped zones. As it stands, those adhering to strict cost-benefit analysis find it cheaper to pay the $20 fine than the $25 tab at some lots near The Jake. So Cimperman wants to raise the penalty to $100. As with all matters great and small, the councilman doesn't expect gushing support from City Hall. "It's hard to vote against handicapped people, though I wouldn't put anything past the mayor," says Cimperman. Meanwhile, expect Fox 8's latest probe to serve as a chapter in its upcoming self-help book, The One-Minute Investigative Reporter: Creating Fun & Easy I-Team Reports in Less Time Than it Takes to Smoke a Cig . . . .
According to Crain's new Book of Lists, 27 of the 995 partners at Cleveland's 20 largest law firms are minorities. By our calculations, that places the opaqueness of executive lunchrooms at somewhere between Celine Dion's fan club and a Civil War reenactors group.