didnt become a stand-up comic because he loves telling jokes. He just isnt qualified to do anything else, he says. If the comedy business does not work out for me, Ill have a tin cup and a sign in about three weeks, he says. The thirtysomething Michigan native plays up his single-guy status in his act -- but keep him away from teenage girls. They are the worst thing on the face of the Earth, he says. I dont know how pedophiles do it. Because after 15 minutes of Are we there yet? Oh, my God! Are you kidnapping me? Oh, my God!, its like, get out of the car. Heres my name and address. Turn me in, so I dont do this again.
White spends his spare time working out -- just in case Hollywood comes knocking. Its different than it was in the 80s, when everybody was doing coke and heroin, he says. Now everyones doing push-ups and wheat germ. You have to look good for the camera -- especially with HDTV. They can see pimples you had in high school.
Thu., May 24, 8:30 p.m.; May 25-26, 8 & 10:30 p.m.