The average Slayer fan could kill every single person at a Weezer show with his bare hands. But if nerds in grandpa sweaters rule the world, Weezer teaches it to sing. What began as slacker irony (sweater songs, Happy Days spoofs) soon morphed into painful introspection (Weezer's underrated 1996 album Pinkerton). But seeing as how Pinkerton nearly got Rivers Cuomo and the boys laughed off the planet, Weezer 3.0 is poppy, dorky, vague, asexual, and anonymous. With the manic, overplayed "Hash Pipe" a possible exception, you will remember absolutely nothing about Weezer's new album six months from now. Is this emo? Sorry, no. Requires a bit of edge.
Jimmy Eat World ain't got it either, writing ultra-catchy pop ditties intended to posit these boys as Blink-182 for the Super-Sensitive Guy set. And Tenacious D consists of two rotund, wiseass cock-rock enthusiasts who don't care. Funny as hell. "I'm gonna fuck you softly/I'm gonna screw you gently/I'm gonna hump you sweetly/I'm gonna ball you discreetly." Kinda reminds you of old Weezer, doesn't it?