After-work happy hours are all about pounding beers and cocktails with friends and co-workers. But it’s not very healthy, is it? You wake up the next morning with a Godzilla-size headache and wondering just what you said to that cutie in accounting. And after about six months of Blow Jobs, Mexican Samurais and Slippery Nipples, you’re gonna have a belly that’s bigger than Donald Trump’s head. Metropolitan Therapies’ Happy Healthy Hour features chair and Thai Yoga massages, acai berry shots, vegan cupcakes, herbal-tea highballs, acupuncture sessions and aromatherapy samples. Plus, experts will be on hand to answer your questions about how to stay healthy (presumably so you can go out and get shit-faced every other night of the week). Best of all, it’s free. It happens from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Metropolitan Therapies (1400 W. 6th St., 216.771.1604). — Gallucci
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