by Ron Kretsch
Slot Picker is a typical League band, inasmuch as it boasts a motley but intriguing lineup. Drummer Jim Konya has played in legendary metal and hardcore outfits like Schnauzer, Nunslaughter and 9 Shocks Terror (11 MySpace friends? WTF?), but don't let all that raging fool you, he's a really incredibly nice guy and a total cut-up. And he once gave me a goat skull after an All That Is Evil show. No lie. John Howitt is equally well-pedigreed, though in a totally different scene: he was (is?) the longtime bassist for Fuzzhead and its spinoff, the Heliocentric Groove Band. Another lifer, Dave Straub, has played bass, guitar and drums in outfits like the McShitz, State of Ohio, the Franchise, Self Destruct Button (the band I currently take up space in, though I never played with Straub, unfortunately) Neo Nothing, the Burger Boys and last League’s champs Gandhi SS. Matt Valerino plays his very mean guitar in the Chief Bromide/Kong Sauce/Big Bruise axis of weirdness. But Slot Picker’s got a curveball — also in the band is Steve “Lighting Fingers” Barrett, a photographer and sometime promoter who, though he has little-to-no known musical talent, is a force on the music scene by dint of his sheer unstoppable enthusiasm. The one band I know of (other than Slot Picker, I mean) that he can claim on his resume is The Betamen of Judea, of which he is (was?) the lone member. The one time I saw “them,” the show consisted of several minutes of pre-taped drones playing through the P.A. while Barrett sat on a chair in the middle of the floor at Pat’s in the Flats, breaking a large pile of cheap old vinyl records one by one. So yeah, that.
Unfortunately, I have little that’s representative to post. Howitt evidently slept through this rehearsal, and minus his foundation, it’s hard to say whether the gleefully shambolic rock I heard is what you’re going to hear at the show. Though evidently that may not matter, as Barrett has spammed the internets with this missive:
To anyone who will be attending the Lottery League's Big Show this Saturday: I need your help!!! I am asking everyone to please bring something (seriously, anything!) to be used during my band Slotpicker's set (we are 22nd in the line-up). Anything that is brought will be used. I need your help in getting as retarded as possible for this show. Please, please, please bring props, costumes, something that makes noise, anything. Anyone wearing a costume will get a high five from me. Anyone with noisy items can jam with me. Bring your dancing shoes with you for there may very well be an impromptu dance partay! Slotpicker is not exclusive. We are inclusive. Everyone at the show is part of the band. This big big show only happens once every other year, so get ridiculous with us!!! Thanks! I'll see you there!!!
-Steve (and the rest of the fine gentlemen of Slotpicker)
While I cannot endorse that kind of use of the word “retarded,” I must vigorously endorse the concept and spirit. Each band can do what the hell it wants with its 10 minutes, and if Slot Picker wants to stoke ecstatic Dada mayhem? FUCK YEAH, SLOT PICKER! FUCK YEAH! — Kretsch