Bring the kids down to Joe's talk at Joseph-Beth.
It's official: Joe Eszterhas has now spent more time bitching about his time in Hollywood
than he actually spent working there
. The latest book by the onetime Plain Dealer
auteur -- The Devil's Guide to Hollywood: The Screenwriter As God!
-- pretty much guarantees that he won't be employed there again anytime soon (at least not for movies starring Val Kilmer
or Edward Norton
Eszterhas -- who penned such immortal movie lines as "You got something wrong with your nipples?" -- skewers Robert De Niro (a mute dumbass), Madonna (who once offered to go down on a female studio chief for a role in a movie), and Sharon Stone (such a pain in the ass on-set, says Eszterhas, that crew members once peed in the bathtub she used in a scene). Be sure to ask Eszterhas about the time he slept with Stone and called it "research" when he signs The Devil's Guide to Hollywood
at 7 p.m. Wednesday at Joseph-Beth
. -- Michael Gallucci