Bogus reporters

by

Over the past few months, various bands have told us they've been contacted by shadowy figures who claim to be Scene writers, then ask various "weird questions." While a few of these reporters were no doubt legit — "legit" being a very relative term when it comes to our staff -- most of them appear to have been bogus. So we hereby offers a few pointers on how to recognize the morons and stiffs who write for us. - Scene writers never wear suits, except to sentencing hearings and funerals. -- They won't ask you for your Social Security number, though they may request the phone number of your sister if she is hot or has a job. -- They won't threaten you with a negative article if you won't let them and 10 friends into your club for free. They will, however, mooch drinks from your customers whenever they run out of money. -- They will never say "A purty mouth like that could get you a good record review." But they will tend to make general atmospheric comments, such as "Isn't it a little warm in here with all these pants on?" If in doubt, keep your pants on, and contact Scene to verify the person's identity. -- D.X. Ferris

comment

Tags

Add a comment