... And shares his findings with you, dear reader!
Headline: Elizabeth Edwards is looking for you
October 12, 2006
Sam apparently read the new book by Elizabeth Edwards, in which she mentions two anonymous women who talked to her about breast cancer at an East Side restaurant. So on his weekly trip out of the office, Sam stops by said restaurant and to find out just who these anonymous women are. Of course, he doesn't actually find them: That would take work. But he does try. Sort of.
0/10. Let's face it, Elizabeth Edwards did it first. Fulwood is the Daredevil to her Spiderman, the Mr. Pibb to her Dr. Pepper.
3/10. Like the Browns offense, Fulwood started deep in his own territory when he decided to crib the first half of his column from Mrs. Edwards' book. But he ekes out a field goal by calling her to get a real, live quote.
Sam Gets Poetic:
"Well, the women's opportunity to share the spotlight on Oprah's couch is gone, but all's not lost." But at least Sam, the male Oprah of Northeast Ohio, will generously share some of his spotlight. Please, hold the applause until intermission.
The Master Has Spoken:
"I'm willing to play a bit role in this reunion story because I've enjoyed [the restaurant owners'] hospitality many times." That, and my editor was totally on my ass for a second column this week.
What Sam Reveals About Sam:
He's willing to buy breakfast for the ladies if they'll help him squeeze another column out of this thing.
Recently, I read Elizabeth Edwards book about breast cancer and noticed a Cleveland connection. Ah-ha! I could plagiarize — ahem, that is to say, "poetically summarize" — the relevant passage and skip writing a column this week. But it'll be sooooooo much work to re-type all these paragraphs. Where's my intern? Cheryl!!!