Elsebeth Baumgartner convicted

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Elsebeth Baumgartner may the most annoying woman alive. What started a decade ago as a beef over her daughter getting benched by her high school cross-country coach has spiraled into an all-out assault on the legal system in Ohio. She's sued literally everybody in her path — judges, prosecutors, former friends — leveling bizarre accusations ranging from child-sex rings to cocaine-smuggling to drunken exploits at Put-In-Bay. Among her many adventures, Baumgartner has been a prisoner, a fugitive leading police on a high-speed car chase, and a patient in a mental hospital. But no one's been able to shut her up. Yesterday Baumgartner was convicted of sending intimidating e-mails to a judge who presided over cases in which Baumgartner was being sued for defamation. And thanks to a little-known 1996 law called the "paper terrorism" statute, she now faces 75 years behind bars for her crimes. But even that won't silence her. She told a Plain Dealer reporter after the sentencing that she intends to take her case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And trust us, she means it. — Jared Klaus

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