More adventures with Carl Monday


Carl Monday, on the hunt for nefarious villains
Carl Monday, fresh out of library wankers to jerk around, took to the streets again last week, this time in search of a new breed of hell-bound citizen: smokers. Convinced nicotine-addicted Clevelanders wouldn't be able to resist lighting up in bars, Monday took his hidden cameras inside 16 bars and restaurants, he said, looking for law breakers. Of course, being "Cleveland's Investigative Reporter" — which is sort of like being the MVP of the Lakeland College academic decathletes — he didn't find a single violator. So he set his sight on an easier target: government employees. Considering the mind-numbing monotony of their work, it's hard to blame the folks at City Hall and the Justice Center if they were taking bong rips at their desk. But, no, the government workers also seemed to be obeying the laws — with one minor and totally acceptable exception. A few, not wanting to brave some of the year's shittiest weather, were lighting up in parking garages — where Carl's hidden cameras were waiting. Carl Monday, ladies and gentlemen: there's no criminal too petty to bust (as long as it makes good TV). — Joe P. Tone


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