Translated: Romeo's Press Conference


C-Notes knows the Brown and Orange faithful are frustrated with our team's play this year. We are, too. Four-and-ten might work okay if you're selling donuts, but at Cleveland Browns Stadium this coffee don't taste so good. But take it from us — nobody's steaming quite like Coach Romeo Crennel. Sure, with the help of Berea's best PR flacks, he's learned to mask his true feelings. Coached, if you will, to withstand the mindless forty-minute bombardment he suffers at each Monday press conference from our city's pumpkin-headed sportswriters. C-Notes translates some choice comments from yesterday's press conference... Q: Is there a chance Derek Anderson and Charlie Frye will compete for the starting job next year? Romeo's response: "I don't know how many times I have to say this to you, but I have to be worried about next week. I really can't worry about next year. This week is really what's on my mind." Translation: Please, Bill Cowher, stay in Pittsburgh. If you bolt and I lose my last home game, they'll sell Jim Brown to get you here. I'll end up back in New England, where I'll be taking orders from the guy after the guy who got promoted when I left. Nobody can eat that much shit. Q: Was Andra Davis' concussion worse than the one suffered by Joe Jurevicius? Romeo: "I don't know if it's worse or not. With Joe, his concussion was a pretty good hit. I think Andra's happened early in the game and he kept playing, then he got hit a couple of other times before he acknowledged that he needed to come out." Translation: Because it's very possible you weren't watching the game, I'll burn time by describing how each of them got a concussion. In return, I want Tony Grossi and Jeff Schudel to stand up. I'm going to kick each of you in the groin and then ask everyone else to compare how it impacts your ability to write. Man, that hurts, doesn't it? Now here's my point, people: when you kick a guy in the balls, does it really matter if Tony's balls hurt slightly more than Jeff's? Q: Do you not feel confident in your team's ability to run for a first down on third-and-short? Romeo: "No, that's not it. We decided that we wanted to take some shots and we felt like the opportunity to be aggressive would be there on third-and-short. That didn't really say anything about our ability or confidence in the running game." Translation: You're sportswriters, so there isn't much point in asking if you're stupid. So, again, let me explain. Grossi — get up! I didn't kick you that hard. Twenty bucks says Mary Kay Cabot would have been off the floor by now. Where was I? Oh, yeah. If you have three third-and-less-than-twos and you throw it every time, the answer is... YES! We have no confidence in our running game. Three of our best blockers are hurt and at this point it seems pretty clear the hardest running we're going to get from Reuben Droughns is towards the locker room after each half.


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