Romeo's Press Conference, Translated

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Sunday's home finale was particularly tough for Coach Romeo Crennel — not so much because he and the Browns were planked by God-awful Tampa Bay, but because he knew the team's nougat-headed beat writers would have an extra day to scribble their monkey best in rhetorical questions for his weekly press conference. And, unlike the scoreboard, they didn't disappoint. No less than eight times was Coach asked about Braylon Edwards, whose performance - two catches, seven yards, more drops than an Amazon cloudburst — has somehow become less relevant than his being benched into the second quarter. Four times he was asked about Joe Jurevicius, too, for what's bound to become a week's worth of stinky ink comparing the two — as if Edwards' immaturity alone has kept the Browns from playing into January... As a late gift to you, C-Notes offers his translated remarks... Question: Why didn't you start Braylon Edwards? (First time asked) Romeo's response: "I did not start Braylon Edwards and it was my decision. I think he sat for a quarter and a half before I put him into the game. It was a coach's decision and I'm leaving it as a coach's decision. As a coach, I can do some of those things at times." Romey Keeps It Real ("The Real"): I've got a pretty good feeling I'm going to hear this question at least twice more before we're done today, but I'm hoping that each time I answer it'll register with the more evolved of you that I don't want to talk about this. Maybe the guys who don't walk on all fours, you know, can help me out. All that you need to know, people, is that this isn't the NBA — I can bench people if I want. I wish I could kick you to the practice squad, Bill Livingston, for some of the crap you write. Q: How did Edwards react to the decision? Romeo: "I think he was disappointed, but I think it got his attention. Then, Dennis (Northcutt) playing in his spot, he catches two balls — one down the middle of the field that helped us move the chains. Sometimes, you realize that the game goes on." The Real: The truth is we got kind of lucky -- the only guy left was the one with worse hands and two of the three times we threw to him I think the ball got stuck up his sleeves. If I hadn't already told Northcutt he was getting clipped after the season, I could have made a real good point. Q: Will rest take care of Kellen Winslow's knee? Romeo: "I'm not sure what it's going to take. Maybe rest will improve it. I don't know if minor surgery will improve it, but he says there is minor scar tissue in there. I think it probably will be re-evaluated after the season is over and a determination will be made." The Real: I'm so sick of this question, I don't know what to say. How about this? I wish Winslow would learn to play on his head, because his mouth is always open. -- Jason Nedley

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