Sam Discovers Unemployment!

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FULWOOD WATCH: We Read Sam So You Don't Have To Headline: Charley's waitress forced to start anew Date: January 11, 2007 Topic: After watching several dozen of his newspaper colleagues accept early retirement checks and pack up their desks, Sam discovers that some people don't have cushy column writing jobs and must work for a living. At least one of those people is a waitress named Linda Paparosa. This is her story. Originality: 2/10. Although Sam is just catching wind of it, people have been losing jobs since the pyramids were completed and the pharaoh announced a series of layoffs to please Wall Street. Difficulty: 9/10. Linda shows a lot of hustle on this one. After losing her job, she quickly rebounds and finds another gig, all while weighed down by a 180-pound Metro columnist riding on her back. Sam Gets Poetic: "Everything — right down to the shiny black shoes, so unlike the comfy Reebok sneakers she wore at Charley's Crab — was so new and different." She's being forced to wear dress shoes? Jesus H. Christ! Someone call Interpol! The Master Has Spoken: "Bravo, Linda, that's the attitude. Show us how to face our own fears." Following Linda's example, Sam is even considering logging a few hours at the office. What Sam Reveals About Sam: On some subliminal level, Sam is suffering survivor's guilt. He's seen many good reporters put out of their jobs and he's wondering how in the hell he continues to receive a paycheck considering that he hasn't put in a day's work since 2004. CliffsNotes Version: Damn, another sports guy is packing up his desk and taking the long walk to the elevator? This layoff shit is getting serious! And I'm coming back from a two week vacation and nobody seemed to notice I was gone. I better earn my keep, at least until I get the vacation home in North Carolina paid off. Maybe I could go out among the people, do a little of that "reporting" that Cheryl's always yapping about. Come to think of it, my favorite waitress at Charley's Crab was saying something about losing her job. What was it again? Blah blah blah, nowhere to go, no savings, yadda yadda yadda ... All I remember was ordering the crab bisque, which I found a little tepid ...

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