White Rappers Create New Worst Song


White rapper and doctoral candidate Jus Rhyme ponders how an allegedly smart guy can say such dumb things.
We're not obsessed with VH1's/Ego Trip's The White Rapper Show -- at least that's what we keep telling ourselves in between long postings about it. And until ESPN starts re-airing PTI at 11, you gotta watch something. This week tips the show from reality-based program to what has just gotta be a scripted comedic series. Guests include rap icons Just Blaze, Everlast, and Kool Keith, all there to drop jewels of wisdom about how to become a successful rhymer. But guess what the producers chose to include? Not the Q&A sessions. We get the making of the NEW worst song ever. (Click here, then click "club banger challenge.") The caucasoid kidz split up into two teams. Each gets an original beat from Just Blaze, the megastar producer who's made most of Jay-Z's best-known tracks, among a zillion other choice cuts that have been all over the radio during the last decade. And they use his beat — which most rappers would mortgage their PS3 for — to write a couple tracks, including "I Wanna Smoke in the Club." It's supposed to be a player's anthem, a club banger for the ages. It blows whale, and even though it wins, it's still the worst. The track's hedonistic theme caused friction between three members of the team and Jus Rhyme, a semi-conscious political rapper with a debilitating case of white guilt. Skippy didn't want to glorify smoking — that ain't his lane. But he worked around his initial objection, and later explained the sublime ambiguity he expertly wove into his verse, Chaucer-like. "I didn't say WHAT I'm smoking in the club," he says, then breaks down how he's actually a closet player. "These people think I can't record a club record, but what they don't know about my group is that we actually party our way to social justice." Dumbest quote ever, from the guy who brought you one fourth of the lyrics to worst rap song ever. VH1 hasn't posted the song, but trust me, we're not making this up. If we could make up this stuff, we wouldn't be blogging for you here. — D.X. Ferris


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