Iron Maidens — the women's rugby kind


The Iron Maidens, Cleveland's female rugby team, showed why they were last year's national rugby finalists by winning the first two games of their season against Akron and Rochester. Stormy conditions on Saturday made the game resemble a mud-wrestling match more than a sporting event. The ball was as slippery as a slimy sea creature, and the girls clobbered each other like WWE all-stars. "That bitch took out my leg," complained one Maiden who emerged from a pile with jagged scratches across her legs. "My father's a wrestling coach, so he figured if I wasn't a wrestler, this would have to be the next best thing," one girl said. But the fun didn't really begin until the teams arrived at The Kenilworth in Lakewood for the post-game drinking traditions. Pouring forth frothy Miller Lite and chewing on squares of pizza, the girls started pounding the table in preparation for the night's sing-off. The tawdry lyrics, sung in drunk, off-key notes, went something like this: "Monday is a working day/ A working day/ Tuesday is a hmm day/ A hmm day/ Wednesday is a dancing day/ A dancing day/ Thursday is a practice day/ A practice day/ Friday is a fucking day/ A fucking day/ Saturday is game day/ game day The rest of the bar, there to watch the college basketball playoffs, seemed miffed by the singing. A father escorting his toddler to the bathroom merely shook his head. But at least one table of yuppie guys were amused by the whole thing. "I think I like Friday the best," he deadpanned. —Rebecca Meiser


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