The night couldn’t have been more perfect on Whiskey Island
on Thursday. As the sun melted like a floweret of butter into the calm Erie waters, a rec volleyball team called the Flailing Sand Fleas were being beaten into submission by a far superior foe, a team called Ballz.
Lying on the cool grass, watching life go by, nothing could have tasted better than a cold beer. Unfortunately, for anyone who had brought brews to enjoy, a walking bicep with an ear-piece and a golf cart that said “Whiskey Island Security” had to come crash the party.
“Excuse me sir,” he said to one man walking with a cooler. “You’re going to have to leave that at your car.” Later he walked up to a circle of attractive young ladies. “Girls, can I look inside your cooler?” Apparently, hot girls getting drunk and bouncing up and down in the sand together is a crime worth cracking down on.
It turns out that you’re allowed to drink at Whiskey Island, but that you have to purchase your libations from park’s bar, the Sunset Grill. Allow C-Notes to be the first local alternative weekly blog to call bullshit on this one. It’s a public park, dammit, and you should be allowed to get publicly wasted however you choose. We’re pretty sure that argument has no grounding either in law or common sense, but, you know what, f*&K it! Let the people get wasted!* -- Jared Klaus
*This blog has been brought to you by a lot of Holy Moses Ale and a fat-ass blunt.