Thoughts on Cleveland from an Uppity New York Asshole

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The following is a comment left in response to "We'd All Like to Flee to the Cleve," a story we ran in C-Notes last April about a 30 Rock episode that took place in Cleveland. You will notice it's signed by a guy calling himself the highly original "Mellow Yellow." You will notice he's from New York. You will notice he's an asshole. Behold the words of an unoriginal New York asshole: The problem is even attempting to compare Cleveland to New York. It's utterly ridiculous to try to compare a third rate midwestern city to the greatest city in the world. You lose. Maybe compare Cleveland to Pittsburgh or even Philadelphia, but don't try New York. Freaking Cleveland is not Paris in case you haven't noticed. I'm a New Yorker. Cleveland to me is the dreariest grayest most boring depressing place on earth. There is no question that a person who go through life and be successful in New York or LA would be the belle of whatever ball they choose in Cleveland. Conversely, the best of Cleveland wouldn't stand a chance in New York or LA. And the truth is 90% of Clevelanders are at least 30 pounds overweight (and I'm being kind), out of style, hayseeds. It's the midwest, get over yourselves and accept that. Go on myspace. Every Clevelander's profile has a banner that says "Stop the Hatin" Geez. How much hate is there in the state of Ohio?????? Maybe it's the dull grey Harvey Pikar-ness of Cleveland that makes everybody so depressed that they just eat themselves into oblivion. Watch American Splendor to see the reality that is Cleveland. I lived in Cleveland for a very long six months. That film, Harvey Pikar himself, the dullness, the greyness, the droopiness of the person is the personification of Cleveland itself. Stay there and keep trying to convince yourselves you live in the coolest place in the world. It's the midwest. If there was a world war, Cleveland would be the last place the US standing because nobody would waste a missile on it. Mellow Yellow

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