Hooking for Dollars (And the Occasional Top-Off)

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Last month, C-Notes proudly announced that Akron-Canton was the strip club capital of Ohio. Of course, we didn't come up with the data to make this astounding claim ourselves. That would take way too much effort. Like, actual research and stuff. Instead, we left the dirty work up to a political blogger on Progress.org who spent her Saturday placing every listed strip club on a map. All we did was Google "Ohio strip clubs" one lonely afternoon and, voila!, we had ourselves something to write about. Our investigative techniques worked so well, we decided to give it another shot, this time with hookers, who are just like strippers, only more ambitious and less glittery. Without further ado, we are pleased to announce -- thanks to the grunt work of another blogger at thechiefsource.com -- that Akron is also home to some of the cheapest hookers in the nation! Or at least damn close. The Chief Source blogger scanned the Akron Beacon Journal's crime watch section for prostitution arrests. He found the following prostitutes and their going rates: Stephanie, 36 - sex act for $15.00 - $20.00; Nicole, 22 - sex act for $21.00; Tammy, 35 - sex act for $30.00; Frances, 44 - sex act for 6 gallons of gasoline. Blowjob in an Akron U parking deck from a crack addict? Priceless. -- Denise Grollmus

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