Stripper Bill: Angry Jesus Will Not Be Gloating Today

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Supporters of the repeal of Ohio’s new Stripper Bill had until October 5 to gather 126,000 signatures to make the issue count at the ballot box. Though they reached that number, many were declared unverifiable -- including thousands of signatures reading “Seymour Butts.” The strippers, however, aren’t going down without a fight, and are now seeking an injunction. Alas, with the law now in effect, the industry is beginning to suffer. “I’ve already gotten teary calls from dancers asking if they should sell their houses,” says spokeswoman Sandy Theis. “Should Ohio really be yanking the livelihood from moms making six-figures?” According to the Citizens for Community Values, the answer is yes – especially if they make their money from bare nakedness out of wedlock. But apparently the Angry Jesus organization, which previously won a ban on gay marriage, is loathe to gloat over its latest victory. When contacted by C-Notes, President Phil Burress not-so-politely bellowed twice, “Sir, we do not do interviews with give-away papers!” before hanging up. Jeez Phil, we don’t usually do interviews with right-wing nut jobs either, but doesn’t God want us to love thy neighbor? – Gus Garcia-Roberts

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