Bold Leadership: The Arnold Pickney Version

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Speaking at an Urban League luncheon last week, political consultant Arnold Pickney announced his bold blueprint for rebuilding Cleveland. The man behind Mayor Frank Jackson’s election argued that by holding more community forums, and attracting retail and manufacturing to the city, things would be way more swell. Pickney is believed to be the 746th community leader to make the exact same speech since 2003, winning him a free chalupa from Taco Bell. “Think outside the bun!” Pickney declared to a standing ovation. The speech offered no details. Nor did Pickney say how he was going to find people to pay for those new retail and manufacturing businesses in the city. He did, however, have some compelling ideas on what snacks should be served at the community forums. Those in attendance reported that the speech sounded really convincing. “If you suspend all rational thought and critical judgment, I thought it was really good,” said one attendee. Though Pickney failed to explain why the guy he got elected isn’t doing any of this, he did say he plans to start a foundation in his name, and has already devised a detailed plan for some really cool stationery. – Pete Kotz

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