Mice These Days, They Have it So Good

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Forget Mickey Mouse. That dude was weak. And Mighty Mouse? He could save the day and all that, but he's got nothin' on the genetic freaks unleashed by researchers at Case Western University, who last week released the above video of their new super mice — rodents who can run for six hours at speeds of up to 20 meters per minute. Put these guys in Jerry's shoes, and they'd leave Tom weazing in the corner, begging for oxygen like Ted Washington at the buffet table. And, yes, we’re already totally jealous of these buggers' genes. Although they eat 60 percent more calories than wild mice, they’re fitter, trimmer, and can fit into even the skinniest jeans – attributes that we believe are being completely wasted on rodents. -- Rebecca Meiser

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