Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's Beachwood 1997

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After years of dormancy, two Jewish singles decided it was time the Matza Ball was reintroduced to Cleveland. The annual party, which takes place on Christmas Eve in more than 15 cities around the country, was started 20 years ago by a Boston guy who was feeling depressingly single and tired of watching It’s A Wonderful Life every Christmas Eve. He decided it was the perfect night to gather all the Jews in the city at one bar and let fate hopefully intervene. So on Monday night, 160 Jewish professionals piled into Paladar, an East Side restaurant, to meet, drink, and mingle. Unfortunately for some, the atmosphere was very much that of a Beachwood Class of ’97 reunion. “OMG, I haven’t [purposely] seen you in seven years,” was heard throughout the night. Other go-to lines included: “Did you see what he was wearing?” “His wife looks like a total slut.” “I’m so, so glad we’re no longer together.” On the floor, it was a Jdate come to life, with two girls accidentally discovering they’d both been dating the same doctor, who was there to scour for the floor for new additions to his harem. By the bar, a server dropped a drink, spraying shards of glass across the room and making Paladar owner Andy Himmel very nervous. “There’s probably a hundred lawyers here,” he murmured, rushing to set out two huge “caution” cones and mopping vigorously. – Rebecca Meiser

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